Communication is one of the most important keys to walking in healthy relationships. If you know how to communicate clearly and lovingly, when disagreements occur, you will handle them with love and sincerity. You won’t walk away feeling anger, regret, or shame because of what was said or done. The reality is that whenever people are involved, communication happens. Whether you are at work, at school, talking to a friend, or trying to understand your spouse or children, healthy communication is a necessity. Here’s the thing, though, it doesn’t happen accidentally. In fact, thoughtless communication is usually poor communication.

Communication is especially important when resolving conflicts. Conflicts, or differing opinions, can create tension and negativity that ripples far beyond an interaction between two people. Conflict handled poorly can affect where you go to church and the friends you have (or don’t have) and even sabotage your most valuable relationships. It’s time to consider the art of communication, specifically in conflict.

Usually, everything in a person tries to avoid difficult situations and conversations. Avoidance isn’t necessarily the answer, especially if you value the people you are in conflict with. There will be some people that love conflict; we are wise to avoid those people. But overall, if your relationships have a track record of destruction and avoidance, it may be time to practice the art of communicating through conflict.

Remember, the goal is to listen and come to a resolution. The goal isn’t to find out who is right or wrong but to come to a place of understanding.  

Perception is reality. You may not see things the same way, but it’s important to hear the other person out and seek to understand how they feel. Ask questions to gain understanding; show that you care about their thoughts and feelings.

Listening communicates that you care about the other person and want to understand their feelings.

1. Give the person your full attention. Put your phone or other distractions away and look the person directly in the eyes. 

2. Don’t use trigger words such as always or never. 

3. Watch your body language. Body language speaks loudly! Posture yourself to listen; avoid crossing your arms, rolling your eyes, etc

Communication is an art that you can master! If you practice these simple tips, your marriage will grow and flourish, and love and peace will become standard in your home.