Tough Minded Leadership

When most people think of strong leaders, they think of them as emotionless or robotic. They think that one of the best skills is learning to ignore emotions. As a result, people spend their time learning how to conceal their emotions so that they aren’t viewed as weak.

It is true that weak leaders lash out when they are upset and avoid difficult conversations. Each word they speak and each word they choose to leave unspoken tear down their organization's culture.

Other leaders try to repress their emotions with false confidence and bravado. These leaders have been taught to fake it until they make it. However, they make the mistake of trying to cover their insecurity by making comparisons and parading their team’s accomplishments as theirs.

Over time, both leaders lose respect. Tough-minded leaders don’t waste time comparing themselves with others; they compare themselves to their potential.  Experience builds confidence, and the more confident you are, the better you manage your emotions.

However, you cannot avoid having emotions. Emotions make us competitive. However, you cannot allow your compassion for people to cause you to resist addressing poor performance or negative attitudes.

There are two sides to managing your emotions. First, you don’t want to explode and let your frustration get the better of you.  Great leaders know how to temper emotions so that they can stay mission-focused.

This doesn’t mean that you need to temper your emotions all the time. Your emotional commitment to people causes you to care about not just their improvement at work but their full potential. Instead of overlooking the poor performance of someone, you choose to confront them so that they improve and their family can enjoy stability.

I once had an employee who wasn’t meeting expectations. From a previous discussion, I knew that he dreamed of taking his daughters to Disney. This may not seem like much, but after talking to him, I knew that it was significant to him.

I reminded him of his dream and the people counting on him. Instead of using my emotions to lash out, I showed him that I cared about his dream. I was firm, but we made an emotional connection. Over time, he improved, and I was excited when he texted me a picture of him and his girls at Disney.

As a leader, you pour your energy into people so that they can be their best. You become invested in their work and their life. The decisions that you make can impact their lives. Decisions like raises, negative reviews, and job cuts have real consequences. If you had no emotions, you wouldn’t care, but these decisions are hard because you care.

Allowing your emotions to influence your decisions will damage your brand. Your short-term emotions cannot override the best long-term decision for your organization.

During the recession of 2009, I was told that I had to remove several employees. These were people that were well-liked. They had families who counted on them. I had to choose the mission over my feelings about them. It was challenging, but it allowed us to provide for thousands of employees that remained throughout the recession.

Tough-minded leaders are laser-focused on the mission, not the problem.

Tough-minded leaders hold people accountable, but they never forget to show their appreciation. When you show your emotional connection to them, you build trust.

Balancing using your emotions to appreciate and encourage while maintaining high standards will set you apart as a tough-minded leader rather than a weak one.