Jesus Christ: Our Ultimate Secure Attachment
Whether we know it, understand it or not, we all have experienced some sort of attachment trauma in our lifetime. Maybe you aren’t aware of what that means. Attachment trauma, as defined by Dr. Shannae Anderson, Ph.D., is where trauma meets attachment. It’s a God-given, biologically based system online at pre-birth (womb). Where the central foundation from which the mind and relationships develop and promotes proximity to the attachment figure, to protect from harm and danger.
In October 2025, I completed my Board Certification for the Attachment Trauma 2.0 Coaching Program. As I reflected on my studies and what I wanted for this New Year, I came to the conclusion that I wanted to be securely attached to the One that really counts and makes a difference in my life. Allow me to briefly expound on this concept.
There are four types of attachment styles rooted in early caregiver bonds:
Secure Attachment – comfortable with intimacy and autonomy, trusts others, feels safe, and sets healthy boundaries. Originates from a consistent, responsive caregiver in childhood.
Anxious-preoccupied Attachment – craves closeness but fears abandonment, seeks constant reassurance, often anxious about others’ love, can be clingy. Originates from inconsistent caregiver responsiveness, leading to uncertainty about love and support.
Avoidant-dismissive Attachment – guards emotions and is uncomfortable with deep emotional intimacy, keeps distance, prioritizes independence over connection. Originates from caregivers who discouraged emotional expression or were emotionally distant.
Fearful-Avoidant or Disorganized Attachment – craves closeness but fears rejection and hurt, leading to emotional volatility, showing a mix of avoidant and anxious behaviors, often struggles with emotional regulation and trust. Originates from frightening or traumatic early experiences, where the caregiver is both a source of comfort and fear.
We all fall into one of these categories depending on how our childhood was developed. It can start as little as when we leave our child at daycare in order for us to go back to work. Our internal nervous system remembers even at a very young age how various events made us feel. This carries on well into adulthood. This is the reason why many adults experience anxiety, depression, loneliness, stress, among many other things. The good news is that we don’t have to stay stuck in any of those attachment styles. We can seek professional help to guide us in navigating away from the negative attachment traumas. In my own personal story, from childhood to adulthood, seeking professional help was not in the cards for me, for fear of shame – admitting that something was severely wrong with me. Which now I know was a lie from the enemy. But the only One that I did seek out, sought after me too.
Every style shapes how we approach God. For those with insecure styles, such as myself previously, the tendency is to project fears of relational wounds onto spiritual life; worrying if God will really come through, feeling unworthy, or keeping Him at arm’s length. But the truth of scripture and the person of Jesus offer a radically different way. Scripture repeatedly affirms Christ as our greatest source of security, promising His unwavering presence, compassion, and strength. Hebrews 6:19 declares, “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” Jesus Christ is the anchor that stands firm through every storm, offering the stability that attachment theory says we need.
In John 15:10, Jesus says, “If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in His love.” And in Psalm 18:2, reinforces this image: “The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.” It is made clear in these passages that our deepest safety and rest come not from human relationships, but from God Himself. Jesus is our anchor – the secured foundation.
Are you fully anchoring to Him today? Maybe you’re afraid or unsure. Can I tell you that no matter your attachment style or the trauma you have experienced or are experiencing, He provides the safety, acceptance, and reliability we long for. Even Jesus, Himself, demonstrated secure attachment to His Father, at the Garden of Gethsemane. He withdrew to pray, spoke honestly, trusted God’s will, and was quickly comforted and empowered to act in faith. He gives us the perfect model to manage stress and maintain a secure relationship through prayer and trust.
For the anxious-preoccupied: Jesus promises, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). His constant presence soothes fear of abandonment.
For the avoidant-dismissive: Jesus’ invitation says, “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). He never forces, but always welcomes.
For the fearful-avoidant: Jesus models patience with those who are cautious, meeting doubting Thomas’ need for proof (John 20:27-29), and embracing every hesitant heart.
For everyone else, Jesus’ love is perfect, unconditional, and lifelong, transcending all insecurity. He doesn’t demand perfection; He asks us to “draw near to Him with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings…” and “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful” (Hebrews 10:22-23). Trusting Jesus as our ultimate secure attachment doesn’t deny pain or fear – it anchors our identity in His promises, making it possible to face life’s storms with peace and courage.
Allow Jesus Christ to be your ultimate secure attachment, teaching what healthy dependence and trust feels like. Whether you are struggling with anxiety, avoidance, or relational wounds, know that “the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). In Christ, you are wanted, chosen, known, and safe – rooted in a love that never fades or fails. Jesus. Loves. You!