Questions serve as powerful tools for growth and understanding. They pave the way for insightful conversations, allowing us to glean wisdom from those who have walked the path before us. In the realm of mentorship, the art of asking the right questions can unlock invaluable insights and guidance.

Nicodemus found a way to talk to Jesus and ask him questions, even though it was unpopular among his circle. He recognized Jesus’ power and that the signs he performed set him apart as a man of God. Jesus did not answer many Pharisees' questions (at least not directly), but Nicodemus's attitude and the questions he asked prompted Jesus to speak openly with him.

Throughout the Bible, we see the power of questions in the context of mentorship. From Elijah and Elisha to Moses and his father-in-law Jethro to Jesus and his disciples, questions have played a pivotal role in the mentor-mentee dynamic, fostering learning and growth for both parties.

Mentors can provide valuable insight on what to do (or not do) as a Christian, businessperson, leader, parent, and more. Books are great but don’t allow any back and forth. You are limited to what the author chooses to reveal, and you cannot share personal experiences or ask for situation-specific advice.

According to a study by Olivet Nazarene University, 76% of people think mentors are important, but only 37% have one. If you’re unsure who to talk to, the first step is identifying someone you can learn from. Ideally, you can find someone who is successful in the areas you want to be successful in, from family to volunteering to business, but it’s also okay to find someone who excels in one of the areas in which you are weak.

The good news is that only 14% of mentor relationships started by asking someone to be their mentor. Sixty-one percent of mentoring relationships develop naturally! (Forbes) (This means that you probably already have someone in your life who you can learn from and could one day be a mentor. Mentorship is not a one-way street but a community of learning and growth.

However, identifying a mentor is only half of the challenge. Once you’ve identified someone successful, what do you ask them?

The best open-ended questions allow the interviewee to draw from their personal experiences. Remember, there’s plenty of theoretical information on the internet. An in-person (or Zoom!) interview is an excellent opportunity to draw out personal stories and practice advice. Here are a few questions I’ve used that will help you get the ball rolling.

Four Questions to Ask Successful Christians

1. How do you continue to grow and develop?

Even if you already have a process for refreshing your skills, you can expose yourself to a new approach by asking others questions regarding their personal development practices. This question also allows your interviewee to explain how they develop in areas beyond even their area of apparent expertise.

2. What skills are lacking among today’s leaders/parents/entrepreneurs?

By addressing the skills gap, this question prompts mentors to reflect on current trends and challenges in their field. Particularly relevant for younger generations, it fosters dialogue on adapting to evolving landscapes.

3. How do you ensure you surround yourself with the right people?

You can’t accomplish your goals without great people, from employees to family members to volunteers. You can’t always choose who is on your team, but you can choose how you interact with them. Understanding how your mentor/interviewee chooses their circle and navigates the many relationships in their life will help you better understand how to create a circle around yourself.

4. How do you keep yourself and others motivated during challenges?

This question will show how they cast vision and help others achieve their goals. Every great leader will tell you that it is critical to keep morale high and the team motivated even in the face of adversity. This principle is even more true if you seek advice on leading your family or a group of volunteers at your church.

These questions aren’t just icebreakers—they’re conversation starters. As your mentorship journey unfolds, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the challenges you’re facing. The best connections come from sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly. So, ask away, and get ready for some real talk!