Silence of the Heart

Have you ever woken up in the morning as one person, only to go to bed that same night as someone different? This happened to me just after the new year started and I’ve been thinking about the changes in my life since. Many times in life we are completely changed by the circumstances that we find ourselves in, but when the change is initiated by someone else’s words and/or actions, it can cut straight through your heart, leading us down roads no one wants to travel on.

The power of life and death lies in the tongue, just as Proverbs 18:21 states. We’ve all said things that we later come to regret and we’ve all heard things that have pierced our hearts to the core. As I mature in my faith and come closer to the sun setting on my life, I am learning the value of simply staying quiet. Not ignoring, though some may perceive my silence as such. I just simply stay quiet. It brings to mind the old adage; “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Even when you have nice things to say, people still misconstrue and twist what they think they heard to suit their own narrative. Staying quiet as they navigate their twists and turns is very difficult, yet the silence prevents adding more fuel to a fire that simply needs to burn itself out.

I love words, and most of the people who know me would be able to attest to that. There is something so powerful and freeing in being able to write from the heart that brings peace to my heart. The majority of the time I am able to write words that speak to others in ways they need, and I am so grateful for the gift God has given me. Many times my writing is inspired by music and though I am not musically inclined, I love to let the lyrics wash over me and soothe the ragged edges of my tender heart. I love to raise my hands in worship, even when the raising is hard. I love to let songs from my youth take me back to a place where no one was hurting me. There are so many songs that invoke a kaleidoscope of color in my mind, and the words that form those colors are forever etched in the silence of my heart. And my mind. Music is universal, just like words are.

The language of the human heart can be difficult to understand, especially among family and friends. Perhaps like me, you have chosen to stay silent in certain situations and your silence is unwelcomed. Let the silence be misunderstood while you seek the direction and guidance of the Holy Spirit. Communication between the believer and the Lord is paramount in any situation, most especially in those situations that hold the potential to harm another. Or one’s self. You don’t need to answer to another human being for something they think you did wrong, or something they think you misspoke about. You need to sit in the silence of your secret place with the Lord and wait.

Wait in the silence and pray.

Wait in the silence and praise.

Wait in the silence and worship the One who will answer you in His timing, not your own.

That transformation I spoke of in the beginning of this piece? It happened almost instantaneously. I literally woke up as one version of myself that day and by bedtime that night, I realized I had become someone else. And you know what? I would like to thank that person I spoke to on that day, but God wants me to stay rooted in my silence while He works out the confusion and hurt I felt that day. So much time has passed since then, and as more time passes, the silence grows more peaceful. And more necessary.

So many times in Scripture we see the miracles of Jesus transforming someone in an instant. And many of those times hold an element of silence. He healed the woman with the issue of blood in Mark 5 without knowing who she was beforehand. She was healed because she stayed silent (but determined) as she approached Jesus from behind, knowing that if she could just touch the hem of his garment, she would be healed. In Luke 1, the angel Gariel brought great news to Zechariah about the blessing of a son to come to him and his wife Elizabeth. When Zechariah questioned Gabriel, Gabriel made it so Zechariah couldn’t speak until their son was born. Zechariah spoke words of doubt out loud, and the months of silence were used to teach him to trust God.

“For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people.” — 1 Peter 2:15

Doing good is sometimes hard, and remaining silent while doing good is even more difficult. As humans we want our goodness to be recognized, but in the end, the only recognition that will matter is that of the Lord. The foolish people who will talk with ignorance will someday have to bow to the only One that sees everything, hears everything, and knows every heart. May He see my heart through the silence and know that I live to please the audience of One.