It's Time to Talk

We talk a LOT. For women, that’s about 20,000 words a day! Men, you reach a still-impressive 13,000.

There’s something about processing the world out loud with another person that helps you understand your situation. Praying can have the same effect! Sometimes talking out loud can help us peel back the layers of our mind and get down to the core reason we are feeling or acting a certain way.

While there aren’t any statistics on children, the fact remains that communication is vital to understanding and processing the world. So, how much more vital is communication to forming the foundations of our faith? The amount that you talk to your children about God and growing their relationship with Him directly will influence their understanding of all God has for them!

Maybe that sounds a little intimidating, but it is 100% true. God has given you your children so you can train them to know Him. This requires us to put aside our insecurities and our fears that we don’t know enough and start the conversation! We must intentionally set aside time to discuss God with our children.

The way we utilize our children’s time will determine what they learn. If we give them weekly piano lessons, they will learn piano. If we send them to soccer practice after school, they will learn soccer. When we take them to church, they will learn about church. But it’s not just a matter of what we send them to, it’s how we engage with them.

For example, I grew up figure skating 3-5 days a week. But when I wasn’t figure skating, my parents would ask me about practice. They would talk to my coach. They would arrange their schedule so I could get to practice. They would talk to me about using my practice time wisely and how my off-ice decisions would affect my ability to compete.

There has to be a point in your child’s life when you say, Christianity is not a weekly ritual. It’s not a sports practice you drop them off at, and it’s not a weekly piano lesson. It’s a life-changing relationship with eternal consequences. There has to be a point when you stop just reading your child Bible stories and show them the truths God has hidden in His Word!

It’s all about how we use our words--how we use those tens of thousands of words a week. But how do you get started?

1. Effort Counts

There can be a degree of anxiety toward stepping out and talking to your child about faith. Don’t feel like you have to be an expert! Just like you figured out your faith by questioning it and praying through it, your child will need to ask questions and pray. Do your best to answer their questions based on the Word of God. There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I don’t have an answer to that right now, but if you give me a day or two I can look into it!”  Your effort in the conversation will mean more than giving an exact, deeply theological response.

2. Start with what you know

If you are doing a daily devotional or Bible story with your child, start with that! Devotionals and Bible stories pave the way for important spiritual conversations. In other words, don’t feel like you have to reinvent the wheel or come up with a comprehensive 3-point lesson.

Ask God to show you the bottom line behind every story you read. Remember that these stories are true and they can tell us a lot about the character of God! If your child attends Ultra Kids, you can look online for their memory verse and ask questions about their lesson that week. If you child says, I don’t know, ask them about their craft or object lesson. Odds are there’s something

3. Ask Questions

How would you feel if you were King David? Why do you think Peter began to sink? What is something you want to believe God will do? Kids learn more when they are talking and thinking through what they just read. By letting your kids speak out loud their answers, you’re helping them process! Just like you talk out a problem with your spouse or co-worker, your kids will better understand the Lord by talking about Him with someone they trust.

If your child says something that isn’t true, don’t panic! They’re not godless blasphemers, they’re kids who need to hide the Word of God in their heart! For example, if you ask your child what they think David was thinking when he was facing Goliath, and they say he was scared, affirm their thought process and gently correct their answer. “That might make sense! I might have been scared if I was David, but the Bible says David wasn’t scared because He knew God was with Him! And we don’t have to be scared because God is with us!”

4. Be a partner

Take the attitude of “we’ll figure this out together.” I once asked a young girl whether she loved Jesus. She scrunched up her face, like she knew the answer I wanted to hear, but she couldn’t quite say it. Then she said, “I don’t know.” And I said, “That’s okay, we’ll keep learning about Him together.”

You can’t force your child to have your beliefs any more than you can force your co-worker. But your child has an innate bond and trust with you that will allow them to walk with you as God works on their heart. Always call your child to their God-given potential, but understand that children will have questions and they are looking for someone who will whether the storm with them--someone who will love them unconditionally. Someone who won’t laugh at their questions. Someone who will treat their concerns seriously.

By taking a "we’re-in-this-together" approach, you show your child your dedication to their walk with the Lord, and you affirm to yourself your commitment to Godly parenting.

5. Be consistent

I’m sure you’ve noticed that having a daily encounter with God did more for your faith and understanding of Him than anything else. Why would it be any different for our children? As your child becomes more comfortable talking about God and asking you questions, you will be able to dig deeper in faith with them!

Furthermore, having faith based conversations at a young age will build trust between you and your child, and lead to a greater openness when they are in middle and high school. You’re not only helping your child build foundations of their faith, you are setting yourself up as a spiritual leader in their life!

You are not alone. Remember that you have friends and pastors who are more than willing to walk with you through raising your children. We love you and are praying for you and your family! This week, make it a point to talk to your child about the Bible and faith at least once. Make your words count, and the results will speak for themselves.