Reflections from a Mother of the Groom
As I write this, we are less than two weeks away from my son Jacob and Lilly’s wedding. I’m writing between moments of helping him pack up his room and move into their new apartment, and it has given me time to reflect on God’s goodness on all He has done and all the things I am grateful for. These are the treasures tucked inside my heart, and today, I want to share them with you.
PRAY
“Continue in prayer and watch in the same with thanksgiving.” Colossians 4:2
“Pray without ceasing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:17
Looking back, I am grateful that I have been praying for Jacob’s spouse since he was born. It has been a constant prayer of his father and mine all the days of his life. I knew the years would pass by in a blink, so we began praying for this when he was just a baby. I believe his salvation is the most important decision he can make and second to that is who he would one day marry. This decision will affect every family member and friend. This decision will affect every aspect of our lives, from grandkids to holidays and everything in between. This is another answered prayer. God is good!
TRAIN
“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
When I was raising my son and teaching him life skills, I always did so with his future wife in mind. Obedience is important to God, and therefore important to me. Our motto while training our kids was always: “How do we obey? All the way, right away, and with a happy heart!”
I wanted my future daughter to be grateful that Jake was taught the everyday lessons of life from taking out the trash, cutting the grass, cleaning dishes, tithing, and showing common courtesies that make a marriage strong. I didn’t want her to resent me for not preparing him for simple things that matter in a home. It’s important to train children in both the practical and the spiritual. One day, those lessons bless more than just them, they bless the family they will build.
SEEK WISDOM
“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore, get wisdom: And with all thy getting get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7
One characteristic we encourage our children to look for when choosing a spouse is this: Goodness. In seeking wisdom, I found a passage in Dennis Prager’s Genesis commentary:
“Goodness above all.” Goodness is more important than anything else. The Torah places supreme value on goodness; even God identifies Himself as good. When Abraham’s servant sought a wife for Isaac, the chief criterion was goodness, not beauty, wealth, or charm. Goodness should guide our choices in a spouse, friend, or business partner. To truly see a persons character, we can look into life’s mirror, the people we attract and in the way they treat others.
It was evident early on that Lilly was good. Her awareness and care of others and the way she treated them revealed a goodness that was sincere and genuine. We saw it. And so did Jake.
GRATITUDE
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances: for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
I am rejoicing in gaining a daughter. I choose to frame this season not as losing my son, but as gaining someone who loves him deeply. I am grateful to have had the gift of being a boy mom, and now, even more grateful that my son has found the one his heart loves and that she loves him in return. Though change can sometimes feel like loss, I recognize this as a new chapter filled with joy and promise.
I keep perspective knowing friends who lost a son far too soon and will never have this moment to rejoice in. Remembering that helps me keep my heart tender and thankful. So, my heart will choose to be glad, not focused on what feels like being taken away, but on what I have, and the future hope and joy that lie ahead. Perspective is everything when we reflect on life’s seasons.
TRUST
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Something beautiful about God is that He can be trusted. His timing is perfect. I chose to wait on Him and watch how He would orchestrate Jake and his spouse. It’s vital to trust God and not run ahead of Him. It’s important not to manipulate situations or people, I have seen far too often what happens when we do.
When it’s God’s plan, you can have peace and rest in His providential hand. I believe marriage is one of the holiest and most powerful forces of love on the earth. It is two eternal souls becoming one, brought together at the right time for God’s purpose and plan.
LOVE
“I have found the one my soul loves.” Song of Solomon 4:2
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13
We met Lilleann Gorog in the summer of 2021 when she and her family came to Champion Christian Center. From the moment I met her, I loved her. Her goodness, kindness, and sweet spirit were evident from the very beginning.
Jake left for college in Idaho soon after, to be with his cousins, for the next three years. During that time, I prayed and hoped that Lilly would be “the one” for Jake and if not her, then someone like her.
Jake came home from college in May 2024, and shortly after, in June, in just so happened that Lilly returned to Champion Christian Center. The prayers continued, and we waited. They began dating in October 2024, and now, a little over a year later, they will be married on November 8, 2025.
It was clear from the very first night Lilly came to our home that she possessed goodness. From that night on, she has always been mindful to serve Jake. She looks for ways to help everyone around her. She gives of herself freely. Her smile, laughter, and joy fill the atmosphere. She is good!
I cannot wait as they begin this new chapter together. It has been the greatest joy to see Jacob so happy and so alive because of Lilly. He loves her. I love her! We all love her!
As Jake and I dance the mother son dance at his wedding on November 8th, the song will play and the words from JJ Keller’s song “Wild and Precious Life” will echo:
“I'm holding all the memories and I'm holding back my tears and I'm treasuring this moment in my heart. The song is almost over and your new life nearly here. Before you go I hope you know how proud of you we are. You'll get some things wrong and something's right. You'll have lovely dreams and sleepless nights, but every sunrise brings another chance to be surprised. Sometimes a leap of faith is the best thing we can do cause if we wait until we're ready, we're never gonna move. So we listen to the music and take one step at a time until we find that we are dancing how I love to see you dancing through this one wild and precious life!”
To all the future moms and young moms reading this, I hope these reflections will help you in some small way as you navigate the years ahead because they truly grow up in the blink of an eye. Cherish the moments, embrace the lessons, pray often, and love deeply. One day, you’ll look back and realize those ordinary days were the most extraordinary of all.
I love you all!
Love,
Janelle